innamorare

cry

Why is my soul torn in two?
A separation of two
not meant to be separated
together in me
but nevermore together.
A star dies somewhere
in a far off universe.
Does it share my pain?
Spring, a time of hope and renewal,
brings no more than uncertainty and dread for me.
Oh that this pain would be over quickly.
Yet over it I have no control.
My mind
a butterfly
flits, never resting
Sometimes, a light in the dark
but the dark so deep, dazzling
that only one light can reach me
and it seems too far away to
do any good
I sit
and cry in the dark
No more change.
I want something constant.
A home.
Someplace to call my own.
Someone to come home to.
Is all this too much to ask
I ask God.
I sigh,
My mind too full of myself
to hear His response.
Just wait for me.
I'm trying to hear
to see the good.
My soul is torn
and bleeding
I don't know that it will ever
repair
Sometimes I wonder
what person
would want this broken me
Again, the peace flees.
Hug myself to myself
and worry
and hurt
and hope (it's hard)
and pray (still harder)
When will this time be done?
Help me to accept things
I cannot change
accept the people I thought
I knew
(but never really did)
Mend this crack, this black abyss,
in my heart
for all I have strength to do
is pray.